and theres no one here but me

Sunday, April 16, 2006

i wanna put braces!
i hate that tooth that sticks out from the rest on the top row of my teeth.
and i want braces but im not yet into embracing the idea that i have to live with metal in my mouth and when i speak, there is a lau hong sound like stupid wanying. and i hate to go dentist cuz i hate them to meddle with my teeth and gums and make me rinse my mouth and spit the disgusting content into the disgusting lil sink that many others have spat in there before. and sometimes i wonder if the tools are being washed properly. and i hate to glare at the light above me and stare into space while my brain is constantly raced with thoughts of what the fuck is the dentist doing now to my teeth.

i remember during the primary school days, the female dentist in my school is super old and grouchy and disgusting. everytime i was scheduled to meet her, i would be damn scared. whenever i see her in the dental clinic, she would make us stand in a row while she attends to another student scheduled before the group of us, and she will force us to brush our teeth (the way she wants them to be brushed) and the worst thing is we have to do it without toothpaste. EWW! imagine all the disgusting content in the mouth being digged out and theres no fresh mint taste to mask the disgusting feeling. how i love darlie at that point of time. hallelujah.

and if we do it wrongly, she will march over to us and grab our toohbrush, then she will grab your jaw and brush your teeth at the same time she will say "BRUSH LIKE THIS! i can see that u never practise at home! u better brush like this next time if not your teeth will rottttt!!!" i will always look over to the poster pasted on the wall which has a girl with decayed teeth and pray i wont end up like her. "no boy will kiss me with teeth like that man.."

i hate the rubbery smell of the gloves she wore. and the feeling of the rubber rubbing against your face is terrible. dunno how it feels? buy a condom and rub it on your face. erm except that condom is lubricated of cuz. so anyway, i remember there are colourful cranes hanging from the lights above and sometimes if shesh happy with your teeth, she will give u something like a sweet or a crane. of cuz i love sweets more than cranes. stupid cranes are dumb. i can fold them myself so why bother to gimme one. but but but.. kids are like that. they can be happy with just one candy or a crane cuz theres something to show off to your friends and tell them "nurse say i am a good girl!" (oh yeah i call the dentist as nurse cuz they all look the same to me in white uniform).

and the last thing i can remember about her is the lil mole on the left side of her face right above her lips. thats the mole that makes me fear her cuz SBC (mediacorp old name) always have shows that have shrewd and grouchy old woman with mole above their lips. either they are super unreasonable old lady or the auntie selling veggies who spew vulgarities. till now i have forgotten about how she looks like already but i will never forget those eyes that stare at me when i was lying down on the brown armchair. perhaps the only thing i like about dental visit is that i can miss my lesson and i can escape from an even more frightful form teacher who taught me all subjects including PE except mandarin lessons. shesh 1000 times more scary than the dentist.

after so many years, i finally re-visit the dentist but this time was in ntu. i still have the "weird" feeling when i enter the clinic. the same old machine right before me, the same old dirty sink, the plastic cups, the feeling of metal poking into my gums and another pair of eyes staring down at me. hmmmm... i feel like im being experimented on. but this time when i squirm in my seat, the dentist says "alright alright.. will be over soon" reassuringly. about 11 years ago, the female dentist would have fucked me upside down and say "YOU'RE A BAD GIRL!"

ouch!

xoxo,amy9:39 PM

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